P116 ORACLE 116 Tue25 Dec ITV 1830:11   1/5   N  A block of flats in New York had been raided by thievfs so many times that the residents put up a noticeN It said quite simply "There's nothing left to take"N The thieves disagreedN Someone stole the noticeN  The Glasgow Daily Record found itself shelling out more than it bargained for when it ran a holiday contestN The prize was a two-week holiday in Italy plus £50 a head spending money for the winning familyN They turnfd out to be Mr Josfph Kennedy, his wife Bridget, and their fifteen children! >>>>>  Stories from 'And Finally...'  presented by ITN's Martyn Lewis  (Century Publishing, £3.95)
P116 ORACLE 116 Tue25 Dec ITV 1830:02   2/5   N  A pretty little girl fumpfd up on Santa Claus's lap in a shop in Springfield, MissouriN She rubbed her cheek against his whiskers, gave him a great big kiss and whispered in his ear: "Know what I've got?" bNo",said SantaN The little girl replied: "The mumps."  Six giant crabs were on their way by air from Alaska to zoos in London, Manchester and Hamburg when a chef spotted them in the airliner's cold roomN Not knowing how rare they were, he poppfd them in the oven and sfrvdd them up to the delighted passfngersN The zoo owndrs were not so pleasedN  Stories from 'And Finally...'  presfnted by ITN's Martyn Lewis
P116 ORACLE 116 Tue25 Dec ITV 1833:00   3/5   N  One of thf things about newscasting is that you can't afford to get a frog in your throat — or, for that matter, a mothN An Australian newscaster was in the middle of an important news bulletin when a moth flew straight into his mouthN In desperation he swallowed it — and read onN Next day, the Australian Broadcasting Coml—ssion promoted himN So, if you want to get ahead, get a mothN >>>>>  Stories from 'And Finally...'  presented by ITN's Martyn Lewis  (Century Publishing, £3.95)
P116 ORACLE 116 Tue25 Dec ITV 1833:11   4/5   N  Italian Antonio Bisogna didn't know his own strengthN ghen a window in his flat got stuck, he hammered on the shutters so hard that the wall fell downN Antonio fled into the street, followed by five families who live in the same apartment blockN They were just in timeN The entire three-storey building collapsed behind themN  ghen Mrs Janet Hill dropped in on her local bank she did so in styleN She landed her Ford Escort on the roof of Lloyds at Dawlish, Devon — after crashing through the safety barrier of a multi-storey car park next doorN She was unhurt, but her car was a write-off — onf deposit that could only be withdrawn with the help of a crane. >>>
P116 ORACLE 116 Tue25 Dec ITV 1831:01   5/5   N  Not a good day for a man who tried to hold up a shop in Michigan in AmericaN He dropped his gun twice, shot at a customer and missfd, had to push his getaway car to a filling station becausf he'd run out of gas, and was refusfd service bfcausf it was past closing timeN Then he was arrestedN  See 'And Finally...' on ITV at 1.05pm on New Year's Day, featuring a new crop of those funny stories that usually end News at TenN >>>>>  Stories from 'And Finally...'  presented by ITN's Martyn Lewis  (Century Publishing, £3.95)