P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1901:11  5/9  THE JOKES    ghy has an elephant got a trunk?  To keep his tennis rackets in.......  What do you get when an elephant  sits on a ship? A raft.... What  did the hotel manager say to the  elephant who wouldn't pay his   bill? Pack your trunk and get  out....... What did the river say  when the elephant sat in it?   gell I'll be damned.......   From ANDREg DODDS,   JASON HERON &   BEVERLEY NICHOLLS              
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1903:10 FRON: SAMANTHA EVANS 4/9  GHY SHOULD YOU  RDLAIN CALM GHEN  YOU MEET CANNIBALS?                  ?! +       WELL YOU   DON'T WANT     TO GET IN-     TO A STEW,   DO YOU....                       
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1900:11 FROM: AMANDA & NICHOLAS BOYD 3/9                                                             WHAT IS FOUND IN THE  JUNGLE AND GOES HITH, A  HITH?  SNAKE  Press Reveal!  WITH    A    LISP 
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1900:10  *  7/9   *    *   How do ghosts pass  through locked doors?  They use skeleton keys   What do ghosts drink?  Ghite Spirit        From: FRESA SHARP &  JOANNE GRAHAM   More follows in a moment >
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1900:13   6/9            "WAITER, WAITER, THERE'S A TACK IN MY DOUGHNUT". "IT MUST HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS A TYRE SIR." "WAITER,WAITER,THERE'S A FLY IN MY SOUP." "DON'T YOU WORRY SIR, THE SPIDER ON THE BREAD WILL GET IT." FROM: MICHELLE TURNER
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1900:10 FROM: DARREN STODDART, 2/9 YVONNE & STEVEN KELLY     M     What's hot and tasty and found in the jungle? Snake and Pygmy pie..... ghat did the monkey say when someone cut off his tail? It won't be long now..... What did one sheep say to the other by the gate? After ewe........ Why couldn't the church-tower keep a secret? Because the bells always tolled What's the difference between a tiny witch and an escaping stag? One is a hunted hag, the other a haunted stag... What did the traffic lights say to the cars? Don't look now we are changing... What do bananas make? Good slippers.... more follows >>
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1900:10 FROM: DAWN SU2GENOR & 1/9 and LEE DEAN           How can you make a pearl out of a pear? Add L........ What are the little white things in your head? Teeth....... Do you know the riddle about the bed? It hasn't been made yet........ How many weeks belong to the year? Forty six, the other six are only lent.... Why is the nose in the middle of the face? Because its scenter....... ghat did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around,and I'll go ahead.. What did the North wall say to the West wall? Meet you at the corner. ghy is a theatre a sad place? Because the seats are in tiers.... MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 306>>
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1900:10 FROM: MANDY SINGLETON, 8/9 THOMAS HARPER & CATHERINE FANTOM          Ghat's the difference between Rabbits & Hares? Rabbits can have hairs, but Hares can't have rabbits.... What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel a poodle and a rooster? A Cockerpoodle- do......... Why did the sailor grab a bar of soap when his ship sank? To wash himself ashore..... Ghat did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a submarine? Don't worry it's only a tin of people..... What do you get when you cross a jelly with a sheep dog? Collie Wobbles........  MORE OK JOKES FOLLOW >>
P305 ORACLE 305 Mon26 Apr ITV 1901:12 FROM:JANINE LIGHTER,NICOLA WALDEN 9/9 AND NASREEN AHMED          How can you change a pumpkin into another vegetable? Throw it in the air and it will come down squash........... what did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker? My pop's bigger than yours...... Why is a game of cricket like a pancake? Because they both depend on the batter..... ghat did the big calendar say to the little calendar? You are too young to have a date..... When does a doctor become annoyed? When he is out of patients...N How are a goosf and car alike? They both honk..........  MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 306>>