P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2001:15 FROM:SCOTT DONALDSON & 7/9 MARCIA GA CIA          How do you make a swiss roll? Push him down a mountain..... What is everyone's favourite tune? A fortune.... How do make a bandstand? Take away the chairs. Which animal can you never trust? A cheetah... Where would you find a pre- historic cow? In a moo-seum... What do you do with a sick wasp? Take it to the wasp hospital..... Ghat can you do for a pig with a sick head? Rub it's head with oinkment..... What should you do if you split your sides laughing? Run until you get a stitch in them......... MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 305>
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2000:51 FROM:JOANNA JACOBS 1/9         What kind of robbery sounds easiest? A safe robbery.... What is the main ingredient in dog biscuits? Collie flour... How do you like the socks I mended? They're darned good... What did the plank of wood say to the electric drill? You bore me... Did you hear a about the florist who had two children? One is a budding genius and the other is a blooming idiot... ghat games do cows like playing? Moo-sical chairs.... Please send your OK JOKES to OK JOKES LONDON SE99 6YW. We'll use any we haven't had before (but no Irish jokes please) & we'll send you a KIDS BADGE & IRON-ON T-SHIRT TRANSFER
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2000:01 FROM:ANDREW MORRIES, LISA PATON 9/9 RINA MINIDOU          Why couldn't the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice..... Why did the girl tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.... What did the alarm clock say when it fell in a bucket of water? I'm ringing wet..... What do you get when you drop a piano down a coal mine? A-Flat minor.... What goes a long way and never stops? The road.... How do you keep flies out of the kitchen? Put all the rubbish in the lounge.... Why do vampires live in coffins? Low rent.......... MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 305>
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2011:11  5/9    FROM:VENESSA JONES,SUZANNE $FLFORD RICHARD WAIN & LINDA RETTIG FOOTBALL by Willie Win HOLIDAYS by A.Broad CHAIRS by Sid Down ROW THE BOAT by Ivan Oar SHOE STRING by Boot Lace MICROSCOPES by Seymour Withone CROWDS AT THE SEASIDE by Q.Upp GO SHOPPING by Carrie R.Bagg STAND AND DELIVER by Ann Dover PET OWNERSHIP by Ivor Dog BAD SHOOTING by Miss A.Lot SNAKE BREEDING by Sir Pent BED TIME by I.M.Tired THE WINNER by Victor Ree CENTRAL HEATING by Ray D. Ator by Victor Ree
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2001:40 FROM: EMMA DYAS 3/9 WHAT DO CANNIBALS EAT FOR E BREAKFAST ?...NPress Reveal!             BUTTERED   HOST                   
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2001:14  2/9   FROM: MICHELLE & NICOLA INNES        KNOCK,  KNOCK,  KNOCK,  KNOCK.  KNOCK.  KNOCK,  WHO'S  gHO'S  WHO'S  THERE?  THERE?  THERE?     SENIOR  HENCE  DUNCAN  SENIOR  HENCE  DUNCAN  WHO?  WHO?  WHO?     SENIOR  HENCE  DUNCAN  SO  LAY  BISCUITS  NOSEY I  EGGS!  IN YOUR  WON'T   $FA  TELL   MAKES  YOU!   THEMSOFT   
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2050:01 FROM:SAMANTHA DEALTRY, 8/9 WENDY & CHRISTOPHER NAYLOR JOSEPH DEMEO          ghy is a policeman strong? Because he holds up all the traffic with one hand. You have to keep a sharp eye open to- morrow,Why? Because you can't see with them shut.... Where did the sand go to sleep? On the sea bed.... Why did the boy take a pencil to bed? Because he wanted to draw the curtains.... What runs round a field but never moves? A hedge..... ghy is grass dangerous? Because it's full of blades.... Why did the actor jump off the Empire State Building? Because he wanted to be a hit on Broadway....... MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 305>>
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2010:02 FROM MARTIN McCREA 4/9  WHO GETS  THE MOST   KICKS OUT    OF HIS  JOB ?      Press   Reveal!            AFOOTBALLER                       
P306 ORACLE 306 Fri25 Dec ITV 2000:51  *  6/9   *    * What do ghosts chew?  Boo-ble gum...  Why are ghosts always  laughing?  Because they are so  high spirited...  What did the big ghost  say to the little  ghost ? Spook when you  * * are spoken to  What can was  a monster ?  Frank-can-  stein...  from: KELVIN DAHL  SAMANTHA MERRETT,JOANNA  JACOBS & R & J BENTLEY  More follows in a moment >