P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:45 3/8 WHAT HAPPENS TO A BROKEN DOWN FROG? PRESS REVEAL IT GETS TOAD AWAY! wo FROM:LEE WHITEHEAD,BESWICK,MANCHESTER.P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1910:31 F FROM:MAX GILLIBRAND,DEBORAH 6/8 WOOLLEY,PAUL CHENERY, DANIEL AND ROBERT PALMER. What's the best hand to write with? Neither,use a pen... What do you get if you give a chicken whiskey?Scotch eggs! A penguin got into the lions cage but wasn't eaten why? Cos the lion couldn't get the wrapper off... What goes up and down and never moves? A staircase... What do Eskimos call their money? Iced lolly... What's purple and hums? An electric plum... What's drunk and climbs up buildings? Ciderman... What part of a shop would you go to,to buy budgerigars jeans? Clothes counters of the bird kind! P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1903:47 5/8 FROM: JACKIE PUGH,PAUL HOWARD, RICHARD LANDER. THE YELLOW BIRDS by Ivor Canary GARDENING by A.Kingback CAN'T STAND HEIGHTS by Aideon Ladder SPECTACLES by Seymour Witham A SHORT BREAK by T.N.Biscuits THE UNWELCOME VISITOR by Gladys Gone RAG & BONE TRADE by Laurie Lodajunk AUCTIONEERING by N.E.Morebids HISTORY OF CHINA by P.King BRITISH RAIL by D.Zull STREET FIGHTING by B.Tim Upp DONKEYS DELIGHT by E.Ore TOO MUCH MUSIC by Ray D.Ozon more follows >>P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:11 2/8 FROM: JEANETTE HASELDEN, PAUL MOREY,ROBBIE GREENOCK. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK, WHO'S WHO'S WHO'S THERE? THERE? THERE? JUSTIN WATSON EUROPE JUSTIN WATSON EUROPE WHO? WHO? WHO? JUSTIN WATSON EUROPE TIME $FLE— EARLY! FORA VISION? CUPPA. P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1913:47 1/8 F FROM:PAUL WOOD,ALAYNE AND SUZETTE HILTON,JENNIFER BROWN,JOANNA JACOBS What are white and green and jump all over your garden? Spring onions... Why did the cauliflower? Because it saw the brussel sprout... What did one fly say to the other when he had just flown off Robinson Crusoe's leg? Goodbye,I'll see you on Friday... Why did the letter box? Because it saw the postage stamp.. How do you get rid of a boomerang? Throw it up a one—way street... Send your jokes to OR-ID, LONDON SE99 6YW and he'll send you his fabulous badge,T-shirt transfer and his SPECIAL NEW JIGSAW.P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1901:11 FROM:NICHOLAS ALGER,SHAHIDA 8/8 BASHIR,MILES MARTIN. What would you expect to find in Ancient Greece? Ancient chips... What did the letter say to the stamp? Stick to me and we'll go places... Why are a fat man's braces like a bad traffic jam? They are both big hold ups... What days are best for spaceflights? Moondays and Saturndays... What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kang— eroo? A jumper with a pocket... Why does a rabbit have a shiny nose? 'Cos its powder puff is at the other end... How do you make an idiot burn his ears? Phone him while he's ironing. MORE OK JOKES FOLLOW >P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1910:47 FROM:PAULINE PAGE,MATTHEW BARHAM 7/8 SIMON BARLOW. What are the best steps to take when you meet an escaped lion? Long ones... Why is it every time the door bell rings my dog goes into the corner? He's a boxer... What type of car does a Chinese man drive? A Rolls Rice... What part of a ship is strict? The stern... What is a cows favourite TV programme? Dr Moo... Why do heroes wear big shoes? Because of their amazing feats... What was the largest island before Australia was discovered? Australia! MORE JOKES FOLLOW ....P306 ORACLE 306 Sun20 Jun ITV 1901:31 WHAT'S BIG AND RED AND EATS ROCKS? PRESS REVEAL A BIG RED ROCK—EATER! FROM:STEFAN WAL$FRS,BUSHEY,WATFORD.