P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:02   WHAT'S HOT AND TASTY AND 4/9    FOUND IN THE JUNGLE?                                       PRESSREVEAL         SNAKEAND  PIGMYPIE            OM    FROM:   COLIN SORTWELL   ST.ALBANS       
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1901:12   6/9            "WAITER, WAITER, I'M IN A HURRY WILL MY PANCAKE BE LONG?" "NO SIR, IT WILL BE ROUND." "WAITER,WAI$FR, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE EGGS?" "DON'T ASK ME SIR, I ONLY LAID THE TABLE." FROM:CHRISTOPHER THREADGOLD, HELEN LORIMER.
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:04 WHAT WAS THE TORTOISE DOING ON THE  MOTORWAY? 3/9  PRESS REVEAL  ABOUT 1 MPH!                                                       FROM:KERRY STIMSON   CHIGWELL ROW,ESSEX.
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1945:17  5/9  THE JOKES    Why did the elephant paint his  toe nails red? So he wouldn't be  noticed when he climbed up the  cherry tree... How do elephants  fly? In an ele—copter... What did  the hotel manager say to the ele—   phant who couldn't pay his bill?  Pack your trunk and leave.. What's  grey and red all over?  An embaressed elephant.   FROM: RUSSELL and AMANDA   CAFFERTY,DANIEL and   ROBERT PALMER,   SARA HEDLEY.            
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:10  *  7/9   *    *  What do ghosts wear in  motor cars?  Sheet belts.   What's a vampires  favourite dance?  The Fango!   Who has feathers,fangs  and goes quack?  Count  Duckula.    From:GARRY MILLS,JOANNE ROSS and KELLY PARKER  More follows in a moment >
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:10 FROM:DAVID WEST,SIMON LONGSTON 8/9 CAROL CRITCHLEY,LEE PACE, GEORGE RIDGEWAY,SHAHIDA BASHIR.           What is the difference between a fly and a bird? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird... What happens if you play table tennis with a rotten egg? First it goes ping then it goes pong!... What roof covers the most noisy tenant? The roof of the mouth... Ghy is 'D' like a screaming child? Because it makes 'ma' 'mad'... What goes putt,putt,putt,putt? A bad golfer... What do you get if you cross a zebra with a pig? Striped sausages... How does a sheep keep warm in Winter? By central bleating...  MORE OK JOKES FOLLOW >>
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1901:00 FROM:NICOLA BUCK,RACHEL TOPLISS, 1/9 ANDREA FOWLER,NORMAN CRAWFORD,  NIALL BRANNIGAN,MICHAEL SUNG.           Why is the sky so high? So the birds won't bump their heads... What goes thump,swish,thump,swish? A turnip with one wet tennis shoe... Why do we not use a square ball in soccer? Because the players would kick too many corners .. How do you get a piece of rope with only one end? Cut one end off... Did you hear about the man who swam half the channel? He got tired so he swam back... Have you ever seen a maneating turkey? No.But I've seen a man eating turkey.. What is the fastest vegetable? A runner bean. . MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 306>>
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1900:12 FROM:IAN THOMPSON,SIMON CONQUEST 9/9 REBECCA KENNEDY.          How does a sparrow with engine trouble manage to land safely? With his sparrowchute... Why is a game of cricket like a pancake? Because they both depend on the batter... How can you change a pumpkin into another vegetable? Throw it in the air and it comes down squash... What did the big firecracker say to the little fire— cracker? My pop's bigger than yours... Why is it that every man's trousers are too short? Because his legs always stick out two feet...  MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 306>>
P305 ORACLE 305 Sun20 Jun ITV 1912:05 FROM:RACHEL MOULSON,SIMON BARLOW 2/9 BUSTER HENDERSON,RHIANNON EVANS, KARAN ANN BAGGS,PHILIP DAVIDSON.           What's yellow and black and red with spots? A leopard with measles... What do gorillas sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells,Jungle Bells... What's the cure for water on the knee? A tap on the head?... What is a frogs favourite sweet? A lollihop... What do you call young people born in outer Mongolia? Babies... Who invented the bagpipes? A Scot who stood on his cat and liked the noise... Who won the Monster Beauty Competition? No one... What is orange and goes up and down? A carrot in a lift. JOH MORE OK JOKES ON PAGE 306>>