P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:16:03             —————————  ——————————————       THE OWL OF BEWILDERMENT For all those out there complaining about the weather, remember this - it's winter - get over it. Hear, hear. Grab a scarf! DR NAMGGE I had a dream last night. I'm sure I did. I can't remember what it was about though. Boring as listening to complaints about the weather, soz. SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER I'm listening to The Strokes, care of my friend Mije. Thanks Mije. Whoo hoo! A round of applause for Mije! ——————————————————————————————————1/8—— Share some Voidy thoughts, too 352 e-mail Mega-zine at: mega-zine@teletext.co.uk Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:18:07             —————————  ——————————————    OI YOU!    Things to shout at people in the street: Oi you, Stig of the Dump! Oi you, Fungus the Bogeyman! Oi you, Ming the Merciless! Oi you, Noddy Holder! Oi you, Stoppit and Tidyup! Norman Radcliffe ——————————————————————————————————2/8—— If you shouted any of those at me I'D KICK YOU WITH ALL FOUR HOOVES Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:16:27             —————————  ——————————————    SWEET DREAMS    All the pressure of trying to get my college projects in on time has finally taken its toll. Last night I dreamt I entered a sticky toffee pudding with a train ticket shoved on top into a Robot Wars competition. The worst bit was the fact that I'd built the robot in the middle of the road and needed help to take it to the destination. This may have something to do with the three Babybels I ate before lunch. Toenail Clippings ——————————————————————————————————3/8—— I don't normally like hearing about OTHERS' DREAMS. BUT I LIKED THAT ONE Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:16:53             —————————  ——————————————    NAME CHANGE    WLW, my e-mail contact list has labelled you LW,L for what seems to be no reason at all. It's highly confusing. So what I need you to do for me, just a tiny little thing really, is change your name for me so I use my mind on more productive things. Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Lilac Leopard ——————————————————————————————————4/8—— I'm off to Deed Poll after one more JAFFA CAKE, LEOPARD LILAC Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:17:17             —————————  ——————————————    REGULAR 'ZINERS    To answer Queen of the Elbow's question about how you become a regular. It's simple really, you just need to have 86 letters printed. What? That's the exact number I've had printed? Coincidence I tell you! The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning ——————————————————————————————————5/8—— Well you used to be a regular, but NOT ANY MORE, AS THAT MAKES 87 Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:17:14             —————————  ——————————————    CULT OF THE PAMPLEMEESE    Well it does exactly what it says on the tin. We shall mindwash the masses and cultivate pamplemeese that shall take over your towns, control your lives and force you to subvert to our way of living - ie Pamplemeese worshipping. And you think you have a choice. Elden Ray and Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller (High Priestess and Priest of Cult of the Pamplemeese) ——————————————————————————————————6/8—— Woah, 'Ziners joining forces in SCARY CULT THREAT SHOCK. I LIKE IT Goss Stars Game entral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:17:10             —————————  ——————————————    MARKMAKING    This is part of my art course, and possibly the most pointless lesson ever. I explained last lesson to my dad: "We chose five objects and had to draw them first using only non- figurative lines. Then using just colour. And then..." "With your eyes closed?" suggested my dad scathingly. He was right. The One With The Mighty Antlers ——————————————————————————————————7/8—— Whadda dads know, huh? Embrace your SQUIGGLY COLOURFUL LINE CLASSES Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema
P382 Teletext 382 Dec11 23:15:17             —————————  ——————————————    HELLO FERGIE - DING DONG!    A message by carrier pigeon tells me that Fergie, Duchess of York, might be young, free and single. Now there's a top piece of totty. wouldn't you say? She's welcome at my palatial abode for Christmas turkey and stuffing any time. I'd even join Weightwatchers if it would make her happy. Pork pies would be consigned to the realms of Utopia. The Brigadier ——————————————————————————————————8/8—— Don't EVER believe the pigeons. DID NO-ONE EVER TEACH YOU THAT? Goss Stars GameCentral Cinema