P144 Teletext 146 Jan 0 00:11:01          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB AWARDS!!   Forget Smash Hits, poo to the  Brits, ya boo to the Mercury Mqsic Prize, and a pox on the Oscars. Here are the only awards that count! Our gongs throb with anticipation as we prepare for the junket to top them all - Club's End Of Year Awards Thingy! So strap yourselves in, hold on to@xour seats, prepare to take-off, and let the kissy-kissy huggy-huggy gong-giving begin. And the first winner is... ——————————————————————————————————1/7—— That'll be on the next page then >>> CLUB'S VERY OWN INDEX p140 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green
P144 Teletext 146 Jan 2 00:11:01          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB AWARDS!!   MAN OF THE YEAR  Johnny Vaughan. He made mornings almost bearable, hauled Big Breakfast back from the dead, made Madonna chuckle, met Friends, AND nearly kept the Spice Girls off the Christmas No1. Wotagsx!! WOMAN OF THE YEAR Cerys Catatonia. Anyone who sings: "Each day I wake up, I thank God I'm Welsh," without laughing, is OK! Fab singles, ace album, she cracked us up at every interview/award/party! ——————————————————————————————————2/7—— New Centurions' resolutions 145 CHECK OUT THE CHARTS p485 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green
P144 Teletext 146 Jan 2 00:11:11          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB AWARDS!!   SINGLE OF THE YEAR  The Tamperer featuring Maya: Feel It Purely and simply for that line about stabbing a love rival with a chimney. Classic stuff! Eat your heart out Alanis Morissette! ALBUM OF THE YEAR Robbie 'jlliams: ...Been Expecting You To be honest, the album's only so-so, but it's a worthy winner for how sick it must make Gary Barlow feel! ——————————————————————————————————3'7—— Star Trek Insurrection! 143 THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! p400 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green
P144 Teletext 146 Jan 2 00:10:10          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB AWARDS!!   BEST/WORST PUBLICITY STUNT  Chumbawumba and the old throwing bucket of water over deputy PM's head routine. Never fails that one! MOST DRAMATIC CHANGE OF $NAGE AWARD Geri Halliwell. One second she's an airhead in Union Jack micro-skirt, the next she's in a frock saving the world. FASHION ITEM OF THE YEAR Designer bump as modelled by Mel All Saint, two Spices and Ronan Boyzone! ——————————————————————————————————4/7—— You want whingeing knights?!? >>> TIP-TOP RECORD REVIEWS p484 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green
P144 Teletext 149 Jan 2 00:18:01             ———————  ——————————————    A  WLW I'm completely fed up with you mocking my, and other 'Ziners', rf÷pou{ p|aos for world domination. (Actually,P$'m not at all concerned acout the other 'Ziners, but I take insults on mxself VERY persona|ly). So don't go making wun of }f0—gain or I'll do somet—ing thax you regret.P  so glad we understanp ecch othexn.. White Line Warrior. Did xhax |ast ÷inr sound men!cing and f÷rl? Master ———————————————————————————q—q————8/5qq Ohh, Ohh,0 'm shaking,0$'o QUAKING IN MY BOOTS!!!!! Flicks Awarbs Sort It! Fun&Gambs
P144 Teletext 140 Jan 2 00:00:00          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB A ARDS   WHINGEING KNIGHT AWARD  Sir Andrew Lloyd 'jbber Prattling on about Boyzone, No Matter What, record company manipulation, blah blah... Runner-Up Sir Cliff Richard prattling about Chris Evans and not getting any ——rplay... Runner-Up 2 Sir Elton John prattling on about footballers being overpaid prima donnas... and he should KNOW! ——————————————————————————————————5/7—— What's your new year's resolution? 145 IT'S VOIDTASTHC!! p482 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green
P144 Teletext 146 Jan 2 00:11:00          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB AWARDS!!   BLATANT LIE AWARD  The Tamperer: If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better We did and it wasn't... DENIM'S COOL - SURELY SOME MISTAKE GONG B*Witched Being Irish is not an excuse! TRUST ME I'M FROM ESSEX AWARD 5ive, Denise Van Outen, Alisha's Attic And remember kids, always practise safe Essex... ——————————————————————————————————6/7—— There's even one for OAPs >>> LATEST CHART ACTION p485 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green
P144 Teletext 146 Jan 2 00:11:43          ———————————————————————————   THE CLUB AWARDS!!   CHEESIEST LYRIC AWARD  Desree for Life: "I don't want to see a a ghost/That's the thing I fear most/ I'd rather eat a piece of toast." Eh? IS IT A MAN/IS IT A BIRD/NO IT'S..AWARD Dana International The first Israeli trans-sexual to win Eurovision. AWARD FOR SERVICES TO SENIOR CITIZENS Cher's Vocoder No, we don't know what it is either, but it's done wonders for her. Hope the batteries don't run out! ——————————————————————————————————7/7—— The latest Millennium news 105 ALL YOUR TELLY NEWS p110 Sort It! Angst TV Plus Green