P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2200:10     1/28         Weekend      Got an awkward or personal  problem? FRANK, the BUZZ  agony uncle offers help and  advice, daily, through the pages  of Who Cares? Write to him c/o:  Who Cares? PO Box 200 TN4 9RY Who Cares? is for sharing your problems and so Frank prefers to answer your letters on air. So save your SAEs INTEREST RATES are now on p533 Buzz Style Pen Pals Buzz Talk Rock/Pop
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2201:22   2/28       Dear FRANK, I am suffering from an illness. Every time I want to go out or do something I enjoy, I feel very sick and get tummy pains and headaches. My mum took me to the doctor. The doctor recommended me to an educational psychologist who I have been seeing for three weeks. But I have only got worse. Now I can't go to school because I feel so bad. I am 12 and all my friends have fallen out with me because I have been off school for ages. I would also like to start dating boys. Please help. EMILY a reply > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2208:20   4/28      (.!($  Dear EMILY (cont.), What you need to do is to think really hard about things. Can you think what is really worrying you? Are you worried about something that is happening at home or at school? Or have you just got a block about going back to school and seeing people now that you've been away for a while? Remember that whatever is worrying you, it isn't too big or too small to tell your mum or your educational psychologist about. They can't try and help you unless you are honest with them. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564 A-Z Index Racing City Reviews
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2208:50   5/28       Dear EMILY (cont.), Not going to school isn't likely to make you feel any better, especially if you want to keep in touch with your friends. Don't be afraid about going back to school. If you can make the effort to go, I'm sure you'll soon get back in with everyone and back in touch with what's going on. At least school would keep you busy if there is something else you've been worrying about. And don't give up on your educational psychologist just yet. It may be that you feel worse just because you're thinking harder. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564 A-Z Index Racing City Reviews
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2200:20   6/28       Dear EMILY (cont.), If you really can't bring yourself to go back to school before the sjllfr hols begin, you CAN still keep in touch with your friends You could write to them, or phone them, or invite them round to see you. As far as boys are concerned, there's plenty of time to meet these once you go back to school or when you start going out again. But don't rush into anything - try to think as boys as friends as well as boyfriends. So try not to worry and try to talk things out. And have a good ssllfr! FRANK the letter > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564 A-Z Index Racing City Reviews
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2200:50   7/28       Dear FRANK, I am 19 and waiting to go to university in October. The thing is, for well over a year now, I have been writing poems. And, I have also written a short story of about 6,000 words, for which I received full marks when I entered it as part of my 'A' level English file last year. Now I would love to see my l—ld in print but how do I go about it? At this moment in time, I have around 35 poems to my l—ld and I am currently working on ideas for five more stories. I also have plans for writing a screen play. Help! ANON Frank replies > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2211:21   8/28       Dear ANON, Thank you for your letter and sorry we didn't get around to answering it any sooner. Congratulations on the short story you wrote towards your 'A' level and well done for being offered a place at university. All being well, if you go to university in October, you should find a lot of your questions will be answered. Your new lecturers at university should have all the information you need for trying to get your poems and stories published. reply continues > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2211:51   9/28      (.!($  Dear ANON (cont), There may even be a creative writing club at the university. Or, you could offer to write for a student magazine. If you have time or if, for some reason, you don't end up going to university, you could do an evening course in creative writing at an adult education institute. You can find out about places running evening classes from your local library. The courses usually start in September. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2212:20   10/28       Dear ANON (cont.), In the meantime, there are other ways in which you can try to get your poems and stories in print. Ask your local bookshop for information on getting your work published. They might be able to help you directly, or they can refer you to any books they have on this. It can actually be quite cheap to print your own book of poetry. Look out for leaflets at the library which advertise any writing competitions. reply continues > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2212:50   11/28       Dear ANON (cont.), The Poetry Society has a National Poetry Competition and the closing date is November 6, 1989. Look out for entry forms or write off for one. The address is: The Poetry Society, 21 Earl's Court Square, London, SW5 9DE. And you could join the Poetry Society. It offers lots of advice to new poets. Write to the membership department. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2213:21   12/28       Dear ANON (cont.), If you live or study in London, there is a London Writers' Competition you could enter too. The closing date is September 1, 1989. You can write a poem, a short story or a play for it. The address to write to for more details is: London Writers' Competition, Room 114A, The Town Hall, Wandsworth High Street, London, SW18 2PU. So keep on writing and, when you get something published, send ORACLE a copy for review! Good luck. FRANK the letter > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2213:53   13/28       Dear FRANK, I am 17 years old and I have met a 24- year-old man at a night club. I really like him and he really likes me. The problem is he is married but he has no children. I don't know whether to carry on with the relationship. He sees me down the town and he is always asking me out. I have known him about a month now and I feel really attracted to him sexually and personality-wise too. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2210:21   14/28       Dear FRANK (cont.), This man I've met says he might leave his wife because he rushed into the marriage in the first place and has only been married for a year. I have told no-one else about this but a very close friend whom I can trust. Please give me some sound advice (and not just to stop seeing him). A MEGADEATH FAN  Dear MEGADEATH FAN, Thanks for writing. I'm sorry that you seem to have fallen for someone who is already committed. But it is important that you look at why you are attracted to him. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2210:51   15/28       Dear MEGADEATH FAN (cont.), Are you attracted to this older man because he seems more mature than most boys you've met who are your age? Or is it partly the fact that he is already "attached" that has made him seem more attractive and made you feel all the more flattered by the attention he is paying you? The fact is, at the moment he IS committed to someone else - his wife. And, by seeing you, he is cheating on her. And that still holds, even if he says he hasn't got any children to worry about. more follows > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2214:23   16/28       Dear FAN (cont.), OK so he has said that he "might" leave his wife. But when and in what circumstances? It is easy enough for him to say this, in order to keep you interested, but how do you know whether he means it? However genuine this man's feelings are for you, can you really say you trust him? If he can be dishonest with his wife, he can be dishonest with you too. So he may not be telling you the whole truth. And, if he did ever leave his wife, could you be certain that he wouldn't cheat on YOU? more > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2214:51   17/28       Dear FAN (cont.), So put yourself in his shoes for a minute. For whatever reason, he obviously isn't a 100 per cent satisfied with his marriage. But as long as you're prepared to let things carry on as they are, he's saved the hassle of having to make any serious decisions about his life. I know this isn't what you want to hear and it's tough being sensible when your instincts take over, but you really do need to force him to make decisions. more > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2215:20   18/28      $/*%/*-(.!($  Dear FAN (cont), You need to be strong-minded about this and tell him that you'll only be prepared to enter into something with him, once he's sorted out his marriage. If he is taking you seriously, he has to take his current circumstances seriously - if he had written to me about this problem, I would have suggested that he went along to a Marriage Guidance Clinic with his wife. So make him realise that you're not going to be taken for a ride. And, if it doesn't work out, there IS plenty of time to meet someone else who isn't attached and fits the bill. Believe me! FRANK the letter > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2217:12   19/28       Dear FRANK, I think I am in very serious trouble and hope you can help me. I am a 12-year-old girl and recently I had sex with a 19-year-old boy. He made me do several things I didn't want to do - he forced me to have sex with him. Now my periods seem to have stopped and I am extremely worried I may be pregnant. I can't talk to anyone, especially my mum, because of my age. I am thinking of committing suidide. Please help. You are the only person I can speak to and ask for advice. A VERY WORRIED PERSON reply > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564 Jokes 555 Mag Birthdays Buzz
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2257:21   20/28       Dear VERY WORRIED PERSON, I am very sorry to hear about your problem. Forced sex is "rape" and it is a very serious offence. The boy in question could be in serious trouble, even if you had been willing. The fact that you have missed a period doesn't mean you are pregnant. Your periods can stop for any number of reasons - your hormones could be out of balance and that's common at your age. Or, your periods could have stopped just because you are worrying about being pregnant. But you do need to find out for sure. reply continues > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2256:12   21/28       Dear VERY WORRIED PERSON (cont.), You need to tell a responsible adult - like your doctor, or a nurse at a clinic - that you think you could be pregnant. If neither you or the boy you say you had sex with were protected, and his sperm came near to your vagina, then it IS possible you are pregnant. You could call in at a Family Planning Clinic or a Pregnancy Advisory Clinic. Look in the phone book for the number of one in your area. If you have a good friend you can talk to, get them to go along with you. reply continues > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2250:42   22/28       Dear VERY WORRIED PERSON (cont.), You really must bring yourself to tell your mum. She may be shocked and angry. She may feel ashamed and she may panic at first. But in the end, she will be helpful and caring. And she will be glad you have been honest with her, especially if it really did all happen against your will. I am sure she will understand. At least if you can tell her that you have already been to the doctor's or to a clinic for advice, she will know that you are being responsible now. more > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2214:11   23/28       Dear WORRIED PERSON (cont.), Whatever happens, you must remember it's not the end of the world - and you mustn't blame yourself. A 19-ye-r-old boy is old enough to know it is definitely wrong and illegal to force a 12-year-old girl to have sex. Remember, it is always better to get help than to make matters worse and bottle things up. So try not to panic. Make an appointment with your doctor or a local clinic and talk to your mum soon.  care. FRANK the letter > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2240:01   24/28       Dear FRANK, I am aged 13 and have blue eyes and dark hair. My friend called K. has blue eyes and blonde hair - which every boy seems to fall for nowadays. I also have a very good friend called J. who is a boy. I went out with J. but then he met K. and it was love at first sight. He dumped me the moment he saw K. and she then dumped HIM in two days. Me and J. have since been camping together and soon we are going to Wales for a week, just as friends. But K. is coming too. Please help me get out of this awkward position. What should I do? Love, KATY Frank replies > BUZZ Guide 560 BUZZ Style 564 Newsfile Unit Trusts Your Money Adverts
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2200:11   25/28       Dear KATY, Thanks for writing. It was very thoughtless of J. to drop you so suddenly, just because he found K. attractive. Perhaps the fact that K. dropped him so quickly has taught him a lesson - that there is more to people than meets the eye. Just because you like the look of someone, doesn't mean you're going to get on together personality-wise. There are boys who are more thoughtful, even if you haven't met any yet. reply continues > BUZZ Guide 560 BUZZ Style 564 Newsfile Unit Trusts Your Money Adverts
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2204:00   26/28       Dear KATY (cont), Although the boys you've met so far might seem to go for blonde hair and blue eyes, not ALL boys go for this. Believe me! Give it time and you will meet someone who you're attracted to, who is also a caring person and who finds you and your personality attractive. But friendships are just as important as romances and it's good that you and your ex. J. seem to be friends again. It would be good if you, J. and your female friend K. could all be good friends together. continaDs > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564 Newsfile Unit Trusts Your Money Adverts
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2206:10   27/28       Dear KATY (cont), You might feel angry or jealous about your friend K. going out with your ex-boyfriend J. but you shouldn't let this spoil your real friendship with K. Why not talk openly with K. about how you both feel about J.? Let J. know how you feel about his behaviour too. You don't want any emotional upsets to spoil the holiday. So you want to get things straight before you go away. It would be good if you could all agree that the three of you should go away as friends. It would be very unfair if any one of you felt "left out" on holiday. continues > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2200:00   28/28       Dear KATY (cont), If something else develops between you or your friend K. and the boy J. once you come back from holiday, then that's life! So go away and have a good holiday and remember that there's going to be plenty of time ahead to meet other boys - both as good friends and as boyfriends. Hope you get things sorted out with J. and K. Take care! FRANK letter > BUZZ Guide 560 BUZZ Style 564
P563 ORACLE 563 Sat29 Jul C4 2209:10   3/28       Dear EMILY, Thanks for writing. There are usually good reasons for someone getting physically ill at the thought of doing something they enjoy or at the thought of going to school. So it is likely that one or more things made you feel like you do, even if you can't quite pinpoint them now. It may well be that you've got yourself into a bit of a vicious circle and you don't know how to get out of. You could just be feeling anxious about being anxious reply continues > BUZZ Guide 560 Style 564